Digital Parenting and Safety Blog

Every generation has its list of potentially dangerous activities targeting adolescents and teenagers. While experimenting with drugs and online dating are some of the major trends these days, there's another pattern that's catapulted to the top of disturbing behavior among today's youth. Sexting, or text messaging, is extremely popular for individuals mainly between the ages of 9 and 18.  Parents should be aware of this new form of engagement and how to protect their children from its negative aftermath. 

Sexting refers to sending sexually suggestive messages, photographs, and signage to others via text messages on mobile devices or other multimedia tools. The items sent by users are typically nude pictures and erotic words or phrases. The purpose is to flirt with romantic prospects, invite dating experiences, and increase social status among youth circles. Many pre-teens and teenagers get involved due to boredom or peer pressure. 

Sexting Consequences 

Although it may seem harmless to some young people, there's several severe drawbacks to sexting. For one, individuals must live with the permanence of their activity. Once a photo or message is released into Cyberspace, there's a chance that it may stay out in the open forever no matter what anyone does to try to erase it. This could eventually affect a person's chance at applying for college or getting a job in the future.

Secondly, sexting can ruin an individual's reputation. Relationships with parents, teachers, mentors, friends, and other close connections can become strained if a person has a history of being part of this trend. As a result, they risk ending up in awkward situations or become isolated from the people that they're usually in contact with. 

Most importantly, sexting can lead to legal ramifications. Teenagers who are considered of age can get in trouble with the law and face charges for being involved with the circulation of child pornography. Consequently, they can be forced to register as sex offenders for a certain number of years which reduces their likelihood of gaining trust or having a good social standing in their community. 

Ways To Protect Your Kid 

1. Educate 

One of the best ways to prevent your child from falling prey to the dangers of sexting is to keep an open dialogue with them about the threats that generate from this behavior. Create an atmosphere that makes it easy for your kids to feel comfortable about being open with you. By doing this, you're encouraging them to listen to your warnings rather than rebelling. 

2. Monitor 

Be sure to keep a close eye on what your adolescents or teens are involved with, especially the applications on their cell phones and computers. Don't avoid this method of prevention because you think it makes you look like you don't trust your children. At the end of the day, it's better to be safe than sorry. 

3. Discipline 

Lastly, create and stick by your boundaries. If you catch your child participating in some suggestive behavior, take away some of their privileges or initiate some other form of disciplinary action. If you're firm about your rules, your kids will usually learn to abide by them. 

Sexting shouldn't be brushed off as some innocuous form of communication between young people. Consider the damage that this trend causes and keep your loved ones safe. The sooner you take action, the better. 

If you need more information about sexting, download our eBook entitled "Understanding Sexting: Nine Things Every Parent Should Know."

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy surveyed teens and young adults for a report on sex and technology. The results may shock most parents. Overall, 39 percent of teens, starting at age 13, send or post sexually suggestive text messages — known as sexting — as well as emails. Forty-eight percent of teens report receiving these NSFS (not safe for school) messages. Also, kids who start this practice young tend to increase their risky ‘net behaviors as they become young adults. The problem of sexting is so overwhelming and the consequences so severe, it’s not unfair to ask what a concerned parent can do?

• Children are being prosecuted because most states and federal law consider any photo of a person under 18 to be a form of child pornography, no matter if the teenager was taking the picture of him or herself.
• Most teenagers do not realize that they are doing something illegal because they think it's their own body and will not get into trouble. 
• Once an image is sent to another person, the recipient becomes the owner of that picture and can do whatever he or she wants to with it. In essence, once your child sends the picture to another person, they no longer own rights to that image.

• Self-esteem issues
• Feeling inexperienced compared to other friends
• Persuasion from recipient of sexts
• Thinking it's not harmful and wanting excitement

With the relatively new ability to send images and videos through technology, people of all ages are taking advantage of this ability to connect to others. Unfortunately, it has also led to the evolution of “sexting.” While this is legal for adults (but still risky), it is not for minors and can have serious consequences on a minor’s emotional state, not to mention their professional and academic future.

What are the conditions of giving your child a cell phone? Whatever is acceptable for your child, it's important to clearly communicate those rules in a parent/child cell phone contract.

As adults, we have to sign a “terms of use” agreement for pretty much everything we do. It lets us know what's expected of us and what happens if we break our word. Kids who receive a cell phone from their parents need exactly the same thing. They'll roll their eyes at the idea of having to sign a contract before they get their hands on a shiny new cell phone, but it prevents misunderstandings later on.

Sexting used to mean sending nude or racy pictures to someone else's cell phone, but today's teens are upping the stakes with a new kind of sexting. Sexting is evolving from pictures to video – and video sexting can be twice as dangerous and twice as risky.

Texting or for some, sexting is how most kids communicate – it's easy, it's fast, it's convenient, and teens always have their phones with them – but sometimes it can go too far. You've heard of cyberbullying, but have you heard of cyberstalking and text harassment?

Statistics from the U.S. Justice Department reported in 2006 that 23% of stalkers used texting and email to harass their targets. And the kicker is that with texting the victim has to pay for it, sometimes as much as 15 cents a text. Ask your teen if they or their friends have ever been in a relationship where their significant other constantly texted them, almost to the point of harassment. You might be surprised.

Some teens complain that whenever they're apart, their boyfriend or girlfriend sends them frequent texts like “where u at?” and expects an immediate response each time. It may seem sweet at first, but in time begins to feel controlling and unwelcome. They may try to ignore the messages, but end up getting bombarded with more texts until they finally write back.

More often than not, text harassment by a significant other is just a case of a boyfriend with too much time on his hands or a girlfriend who doesn't realize her love of texting is crossing the line. It isn't always a sign of an abusive or controlling relationship – but it can be. As a parent you should be aware of your child's dating patterns as well as their texting habits.